Friday, May 8, 2009

Open Mic Friday

Open Mic Friday. Speak your mind. Don't be afraid, we're in the tree of trust.

Some things on my mind:

1. I love Chuck Norris jokes. Thank you for the list Keith (under Texas Secession post), we enjoyed it last night at the bar.

2. I can't believe that GM and Chrysler are both going to file Chapter 11. We are living in a time that will go down in the history books.

3. I can't freaking wait for the river trip.

4. I had a client look at their new space plan and ask me why I put a toilet and a urinal in the men's restroom. I couldn't tell if he was joking so I played it safe and said that it was an industry standard. He then told me he thinks urinals are ridiculous and doesn't understand why people can't just pee into the toilet. He then instructed me to remove the urinal and replace it with a toilet. So now I have back to back mens and womens restrooms, each with two toilets, and there is not a urinal to be found. What makes it better is that he then asked me to put a private restroom in his office, like an executive crapper. So not only does this guy hate urinals, but he wants to make sure all of the guys in his office learn to live without urinals as well. My guess is that his next request will be to remove the sinks and replace those with toilets as well. I mean why can't people pee and wash their hands in the toilet, I just don't understand.

5. I love urinals. Less mess, easy clean up, and doubles as a toilet/bidet if you turn the other way. I would like to have one in my home some day.

6. I hate urinal cakes. They always smell disgusting (and don't get me started on the taste) and I hate that the inventor's felt the need to include a food reference when trying to describe their invention.

7. I'm really glad I figured out the spacing problem on the posts.


  1. I decided to drive through Memorial park after training last night just to see what kind of activities were going on, and I saw this group of guys playing ultimate freebie! And man were they awesome! I am pretty sure it is just a matter of time before they go pro or something real big like that. I was a bit disappointed in the uniforms though....I expected to see more skin and less shirts. Oh well, maybe next time.

  2. I am in full support of urinals in the men's restrooms. From my experience in having to clean them, at the crappy jobs I had in my highschool and college days, men seem to be able to pee more in urinals then on the floor vs. then they use toilets. I don't really understand how they pee on the floor in any situation with the ability to aim, but it seems to be a problem.

  3. it's called the no-handed wiggle and jiggle

  4. Did you try to sell your client on the hover deuce urinal? This may have changed his stance on urinals all together.

  5. So I am tired of studying. Urinals rocks, although Phil uses the ones that look like toilets, bet he would like those. Also I think its code you have to have I wrong on that.

  6. Well it’s open mic day and I am going to take advantage…

    Dylan and I have embarked on a new business venture. We have joined an energy drink club called Efusjon and are now marketing associates. Efusjon is a healthy energy drink made from 100% all-natural ingredients and with no preservatives or additives. That, however, is not the selling point for this club. There is an opportunity to make some serious money if you take the opportunity seriously.

    Derek Broes is the man who is promoting the network marketing of this product. In fact, you can say that he is the validity of Efusjon considering his business background. He was Director, Strategy and Strategic Relations at Microsoft, Windows Division and also Senior Director, Global Wireless Strategy at Microsoft Corporation. He is currently Senior Vice President, Digital Entertainment at Paramount Pictures. Google him to find out more if you’d like. Broes is putting his professional credibility on the line by promoting this product and this marketing structure.

    So what is this big opportunity? Join the Efusjon energy club too, promote the product by finding 3 other people to join as well, and simply start to reap the financial benefits. There is no monthly quota for bringing in more people. All you really need to do is ensure that you bring on 3 people yourself and aid those 3 people to bring on 3 other people of their own. The reason you want to help your 3 is because everybody benefits – you make more money as your downline makes more money.

    Go to my Efusjon website and click on the “Get Paid” tab. Open the Powerpoint presentation and just go directly to slides 6 and 7 to view the Community Matrix (and the Power of Three) and the Compensation Plan. The first 5 slides give you background to Efusjon and some financials for the soft drink / energy drink market if you are interested. As you will see though, the payout structure is very lucrative!

    So just think of this in terms of risk/reward:
    Risk: 1) $196.00 on my Credit Card for the first month – 2) $166.00 every month on Autoship until I cancel – 3) Get three people to sign up, maybe need to get another person if one of them drops out before I do
    Reward: 1) Cover my Autoship by the end of the first month, so I can be in this forever without paying anything out of my pocket each month (this only about 30 people in your downline) – 2) Make $2505 per month by end of second month – 3) Make $655,265 per month in twelve months (lofty goal of course but attainable and mathematically supported by this compensation plan)

    I am serious about this folks. This is still very new and now is the time to get in on this. Usually by the time you hear about a successful network marketing campaign everybody else in the world knows about it as well. I signed up as number 11,297 on 4/20 and now there are already over 20,000. I don’t usually buy into this kind of stuff but I’m telling you, this is a real opportunity as long as you are willing to do some of the legwork. Go to YouTube and listen to some other testimonies if you don’t buy mine. This thing is going to be huge.

    So now all I ask is that if I intrigued you even just a little bit let me know and I will get you on the phone with somebody in my upline who is having success and can talk to you more about the business. I promise there will be no pressure to sell you (not like a timeshare or anything). If you aren’t excited about this opportunity and willing to go out and find your three people, then you are not an ideal candidate for this anyway and you can go along your way. But just get on the phone for 5 minutes with my guy and satisfy your curiosity!

    Thank you for letting me solicit you and Jake’s blog! Email me at or Dylan at with any questions.

  7. Not to my knowledge. Let me clue you in to how old architects handle code...If they don't know the answer to something then their default response is "It's in the code". But of course they can never tell you where, and then later when you point out to them that it's not in the code, they mumble something about it getting changed on them. As far as I know, the IBC does not have a requirement for urinals.

  8. Justin - With all due respect, you are an idiot.

  9. Plumbing code regulates urinals. Which I know nothing about, but for projects this size I believe you can substitute toilets for urinals.

    It's true no one ever really knows what the code actually says or where to find it.

    Since we are in the tree of trust.

    Things I hate about architecture firms:
    1. Time sheets… I will never get the hang of this.
    2. Owners will more than likely be older disappropriate white guys (except you of course Jake)
    3. Plotters….they will always fail you

  10. Gotcha, man should take away another mans urinals...period. Oh and Justin, I just shake my head at you.

  11. My responses to today's blog will be strictly movie/TV quotes. A fun game will be to see who can guess what movie or TV show my quotes are from.

    Paragraph 1:
    "F*%k You, Chuck Norris!"

    Paragraph 2:
    Jinx: [talking about the Lay-off] Your not exactly walking out of here empty handed, You got your pension and I'll give you this months gas money
    Larry: There's only one more thing I want
    Jinx: What?
    Larry: DISABILITY!
    [goes to window and tries to open it and jump out but is grabbed by Jack]
    Jinx: Hey keep that sense of humor it'll do you good

    Paragraph 3:
    Beanie: Weensie, you're on lifeguard duty.
    Weensie: Sir, I can't swim, sir.
    Frank: Speak when spoken to.

    Paragraph 4:
    Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine?
    Probably not.
    No, but it's sterile and I like the taste.

    Paragraph 5:
    Janitor: Hey, have you been stealing pudding cups and toilet paper around here?
    J.D.: [stammers] No! I hate pudding and I don't use... toilet paper.
    Janitor: [Janitor stares]
    J.D.: I have one of those French things that shoots water up your butt.
    Janitor: Bidet?
    J.D.: BIDET to you sir.

    Paragraph 6:
    "like a midget at a urinal, you'd better be on your toes"

    Paragraph 7:
    “What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? Didn’t Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?”

  12. Jake - With all due respect, you are closed-minded and obviously don't see an opportunity when you have it. This is no different than the stock market in the fact that you want people to continue to buy (or join the club) so that your own private investment continues to gain value. I understand having doubts about this but again, what is the harm in spending 5-10 minutes on the phone with somebody who knows more about this than Dylan and me? If you still aren't interested and think that it is bogus, then you don't have to join! I'm just saying the opportunity cost of not spending that 5-10 minutes on the phone could be huge!

    If network marketing did not make money time after time then they would no longer exist.

  13. Wow. Justin you might need to see a mental health professional. Pyramid schemes are dumb. You are dumb for both thinking this is a good idea and thinking any of us are gonna think it's a good idea. Assmaster always used to get involved in schemes like this and I'll tell you what I told him. Reputable people sell their products in stores. Unless you're joking, in which case you're not quite as dumb as I thought. Still dumb though. Still dumb.

  14. Since it's open mic day I would also like to take this opportunity to tell you opportunity. I am a Senior Marketing Associate with Mary Kamway which sells widgets to people who don't think they need to buy any widgets until they really fully understand what the widget can do for them. But the best part is that my company is not actually in the business of selling widgets, but actually is just a multi-level pyramid networking over-hyped chain letter rip-off scheme. So you see the more people you recruit under you the more money you make. You don't actually have to sell a single widget, just sign up as many other dumbasses like you that will go out sign up people as well. And you get money from all the people you sign up under you as well as money from the people they sign up under them and it just keeps going. But you better get in now while you can still be near the top of the pyramid. Because you would hate to be the sap that gets in at the bottom and can't find anyone to recruit because people finally wised up and stopped falling for this same tired old BS rip-off that has just been repackaged and rebranded to be something cool and new. So buy my widgets (actually please don't, I wouldn't even know where to get an order form) and more importantly sign up to be a marketing associate under me (that's what she said) and I promise you we will all make tons of money. Because you know what they say, becoming wealthy shouldn't require any hard work or an original idea at all, it should just be easy. Easy as participating in a multi-faced, outwardly sloping, multi-tiered, 3D shape of opportunity.

  15. Justin - Pyramid Schemes are for Hebrew slaves!

  16. Sarah, without going into to great of detail on why men can be a little messy sometimes, imagine clogging a hose with some from of jelly-like substance and then turning it on full blast. Multiple things can happen in this situation. You can get multiple streams, it could just shoot off into the completely wrong direction, who knows what is going to happen. And if a guy is sitting on a toilet and peeing he has to be careful or he could pee through the space between the toilet and the seat and make a freakin mess. Being a guy is not everything its all cracked up to be (just kidding...yes it is)!!!

  17. Vanessa- Well I definitely meet the disappropriate description and I look like I'm pushing 40 so I don't think you need a special disclaimer for me. Thanks though.

  18. Justin,
    If you think your pyramid scheme is the same as the stock market, you have a fundamental misunderstanding of how the stock market works.

  19. Brett makes such great points!!!

  20. Brett - that's not going into to great of detail??
    I can't stop laughing at your analogy.

    Jake - I still need you to sign some stuff for me, so I was trying to be nice. But it's true you are completely disappropriate and your haircut does make you look older. If I were you I would switch to the long on top short on the sides :)

  21. Justin - I stand by my original assessment of your mental capacity. You are an idiot.

  22. Vanessa - yeah but then I would look like every other schmuck out there, I am trying to look original

  23. Thank you, Brett. That was a big help. Much better than Jake's no-handed wiggle jiggle example. I am with you Vanessa...I can't stop laughing.

  24. Justin - What I don't understand is why don't you start your own "network marketing" plan. I'll help. For $100 a month, you'll get 20 friendship bracelets to do whatever you want with. And for every 3 people you sign up to also pay $100 a month, you'll get $5 and for every 3 people each of those 3 people sign up, you'll get another $5 and so on and so on...I'll buy the friendship bracelets at oriental trading company.

  25. I'd like to sign up, that sounds like a great opportunity

  26. We'll see guys, we'll see...

  27. Man oriental trading company sells everything.

  28. Hahaha, is that a "we'll see" as in you guys are going to be so jealous when I make my first $655,265....

    How about this, when you make your first $100k I'll eat my words and throw you a party to celebrate your success. Sound good?

  29. Casey - remember that awesome episode of Save by the Bell where they sold buddy bands

  30. I will take three buddy bands please

  31. I'm just in it looking to make another $2500-5000 per month. I'm not looking to bring in $50k/month or anything like that. The numbers to make my goal happen are very achievable over several months, especially with the current growth rate. I think you are all under-estimating the power of the internet and how easily word can spread now with all the social networking sites (Facebook, MySpace, LinkedIn, etc). People are getting excited about this.

    Why is it so hard to believe that will work?

  32. No I think you're missing the point MoonBeam3000. The product is irrelevant, you want to sign up to sell the buddy bands. That's where all the money is. It's in the recruiting and creating a "downline" as Justin so strategically put it.

  33. Alright Justin, how many people do you need to recruit to make another $2,500-$5k per month?

  34. "some from(sic) of jelly" funny
    not the typo but the analogy

    I'll throw in on a couple kegs for Justin's "I told ya so" party.

    And Casey, while Justin's business opportunity sounds futile and half-cocked (and I'm being nice), your business model has me intrigued. I feel like I could really help you market your Oriental Trading Co. Friendship Bracelets. Shoot me an email with your prospectus.

  35. And since it is open mic day, my parents are putting their house up for sale. So if you know anyone in Dallas looking for houses, let me know.

  36. Wow Justin, campaigning for your pyramid scheme on this blog really worked out for you.

    Don't worry, I won't trash you like these other guys. It's a minimal risk and the worse case scenario is that you bought a crap load of energy drinks for no reason.

  37. And since it is open mic day, I'm looking for someone to touch me in my most special of places. So if you know anyone in Dallas looking to touch me in my most special of places, let me know.

  38. Thanks Brett for continuing to make valid points.

    Oh, and I volunteer for your request! You know where I live baby ;-)

  39. Anyone out there

    Need a clue?

    Understand that the

    Special place is hidden in this post.

  40. Brett just won best comment in the history of comments! If you don't get it. Read down the left side of brett's last comment... I always knew Brett was my favorite for a reason. This is that reason.

  41. Just think, that was not possible until Jake figured out the spacing.

  42. There's just something about Brett's special place that keeps me coming back for more. Kinda weird, though, because it tastes awful.

  43. Thank you. Thank you. I couldn't have done it without my supporting cast. Jake, thank you for your spacing. Casey, thank you for your laughter, it is the inspiration for all of my comments on this blog. And last, but certainly least, Justin, for knowing exactly how I like my anus tickled!

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