Thursday, May 7, 2009

Urban Dictionary



One of the best inventions ever is the Urban Dictionary. It's pure genius.

1. Are you shitreous?

A phrase that comes from the mixture of the emphatic expressions "no shit!" and "are you serious?" It is normally used in response to some surprising or shocking news or information. When said fast is indistinguishable from saying "are you serious?"

Aaron: Hey! I just won $1 million in the lottery.
Tom: Wow! Are you shitreous?


2. notice me e-mail

In the age of telecommuting, an e-mail message sent either early in the morning, or late at night, with the subtle intent of revealing the fact that the sender was logged on and working at the time the message was sent, hidden within the context of a more "official" looking message.

(an example "notice me e-mail")

From: Molly Worker
To: dev_group@mycompany.org
Date: 03/27/05 23:17:04 EST
Subject: Deliverable deadline

Hi all... I just wanted to let you all know that I have received most of your status reports, but that the deliverable deadline is fixed. Therefore, if you will not be able to make the deadline, please adjust your status report schedule to fit the deadline.

Thanks!


3. Passenger Brake

The passenger brake is the nonexistant brake pedal located on the floor of the passenger (shotgun) side of the front seat of your car. It is used instinctively by the passenger when the driver is driving insanely too fast, and the car needs to come quickly to a stop, which may not seem very possible at that particular moment. It is sometimes used in conjunction with the OH SHIT handle by the passenger door.

Doris was using her passenger brake all the freaking way here. She's the one who made us late getting started from home by taking so long to get herself ready! I was just trying to make up some time getting through traffic...


4. tolerance juice
Any concoction of alcohol used to help tolerate a person, a place, or a situation. In theory, the more tolerance juice you consume, the less annoyed you will be. Without tolerance juice the person, place, or situation is quite simply, well, intolerable and you could potentially slip into a rage blackout. Warning: Excessive consumption of tolerance juice may result in memory loss and/or loss of clothing.

BRO1: 'Hey, let's go check out that new bar across the street.' BRO2: 'I hear it's not that great.' BRO1: 'Come on, 5 minutes. Real quick, if it's lame, we'll come back here.' BRO2: 'Okay, let me just finish my tolerance juice first!'

GIRL1: 'Uh, were you just talking to your ex over there?' GIRL2: 'Yeah, he came up and started rambling about how he misses me or whatever.' GIRL1: 'What did you say to him?' GIRL2: 'Nothing, all I could think of was coming back over here and ordering more tolerance juice so I don't have a rage blackout!' GIRL1: 'Let's get some shots!!'

30 comments:

  1. I coined a phrase that is now in the Urban Dictionary. Not that great of an accomplishment considering just anyone can make an entry. However, I didn't put it in there myself nor did I have any knowledge of its entry. Mickey C found it on there and told me about it.

    The phrase is "Dusty Shark." It's not exactly appropriate so I'll leave it to be looked up. It's akin to Dirty Sanchez, Rusty Trombone, Cleveland Steamer, and the like.

    Urban Dictionary is greatness.

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  2. Young Cat
    a person who attracts old people with big hips ;D

    Whats up with that one?

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  3. Yes, the urban dictionary is awesome. My personal favorite would be the helicopter (also not appropriate to put on the blog), but the definitions and examples crack me up!

    Also, rescue chip is a new addition, and a good one at that.

    A rescue chip is the chip you use to fish the bits of the first one that broke apart in the dip.
    My tortilla chip busted when I tried to load it with extra queso so I gotta get a rescue chip to recover the pieces.

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  4. I think we had the pleasure of seeing Eric perform the helicopter at one of our past river trips...

    And how could I forget to mention Justin running around butt naked on my Bachelor trip in San Diego. A trip and hotel with all guys and Justin decides it would be funny to get naked, real cool Justin, real cool. Who am I kidding, it was hilarious.

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  5. another great site is textsfromlastnight.com
    check it out...

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  6. This is an oldie but still a goodie - my favorite inappropriate act is The Dolphin. Again, look it up but it is best described by someone who can make a great dolphin "nyuh uh, nuyh uh."

    Also, I remember nothing of running around naked in a room full of guys in San Diego! But then again, I don't remember all that much period from that trip...

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  7. well bad news for you is that I have pictures...

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  8. Casey, that website rocks. The buzz, a local radio station was reading off of it the other day.

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  9. Bad news for Justin, good news for Brett!!!

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  10. Hello all, I have been gone for a couple of days so forgive me for going back to yesterday's topic, but...

    The decriminalization of "ganja" would not constitute the government growing, regulating, or selling the product. My guess it would be like what has already happened in Denver, where it is illegal to buy, sell, and grow, but not illegal to possess in small quantities. If the government was selling it then it would have to be legal to at least some degree. Basically what decriminalization would do is still allow the police to do their best stopping the "drug dealers", but would no longer waste their time arresting people with dime bags in their pocket. It's a little hypocritical but could possibly be the best solution. The process of decriminalization has already started for most local governments (Dallas police officers have been officially told to use their own discretion when making possession arrests) but not in the federal government (the only one that really matters).

    Two quick side notes:

    Sarah, I personally think you should quit using the word personality when saying that you personality think something. I usually leave the corrections to the Grammar Nazis (Casey and Justin), but you have done it a few times and for some reason it's annoying me.

    Casey, are you still going to see Star Trek with me and and my bro tonight?

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  11. Jake, can you please send those pictures to the following e-mail address:

    brettishornyforjustinsbod@iamhorny.com

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  12. Brett, can you give me a surprise Hot Carl when you get home after the movie tonight.

    That wood bea grate!!!

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  13. Try typing your name into the urban dictionary. Regardless of your name, at least one of the definitions will be a penis reference.

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  14. and for some really funny ones, keep going past the first page

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  15. Brett - That's funny, because out of curiosity I looked back at the past 14 posts and I have only said the p word you are referring to above once, and "personal" once. But if it really annoys you that bad...I will refrain from using it.
    Also, where is your 9/11 post?

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  16. Yeah Brett! Don't be such a brett (see Urban Dictionary definitions #15-17 for Brett).

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  17. 1. Fake Punt
    2. Upper Decker
    3. Spelunking

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  18. #15 for Brett!!! I am laughing out loud at my desk. They have asked me twice what I am laughing about; what should I tell them?

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  19. not so fast "dylan" (see Urban Dictionary definition #1, 8, 12, 15, 18, and especially # 21)

    oh I can't stop laughing

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  20. Damn it! Work blocks Urban Dictionary! And it definitely blocked iamhorny.com when I tried to register for my own email address...

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  21. urban dictionary references:
    Casey- #2, 4, especially #9, and 19
    JB- #14, especially #15, 16, and definitely #24
    Eric- #3, 9, especially #12 & 14
    Kevin- #3, 6, 8, and especially #12

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  22. keith- #1, especially #9, and 15

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  23. Sarah, I know you used it at least once before but let's not argue. Just leave the bad use of the English language to the experts.

    As far as the 9/11 post, it's not something I just want to throw together and I am pretty busy right now so it is temporarily on the back-burner, but it is coming. I'm not going to blow anyone away with ground-breaking evidence or anything like that...my doubts as to the authenticity of the events has more to do with logic and reasoning more than any tangible evidence. For tangible evidence you can watch/read any of dozens of documentaries and web sites that claim they have such evidence. Most claims lack the hard evidence to prove anything to me, but the "proof" that it all happened the way everyone thinks seems a little lacking as well, so I don't really base my opinions on either.

    Popular mechanics did this big thing where they went through each conspiracy theory and "disproved" them, but their "proof" seemed just as lacking to me as the conspiracy theories themselves. I think for the most part people just hear what they want to hear and take a side, such as my parents for instance. Just the thought of our own government being responsible for such an event is just ludicrous to them, like evil people can only be born on the other side of the world.

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  24. I still can't stop laughing about some of the definitions I listed above for your names...hahahaha

    If you haven't looked them up yet, you need to. They are freaking hilarious.

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  25. Jake, I sure hope that you checked your real name too....if not...."A Rayburn"

    The inability to bang a chick. Usually accompanied by excess back rubs and massage.

    Justin: yo did you get some kid?
    Josh: Na i pulled a rayburn

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  26. alright fine Keith, then I retract Keith #1 definition. Keith: urban dictionary def. #9 and 15

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  27. Boss - #5, 34, 35, and 46

    Josh - #6

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  28. Read number 7:

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rabies

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  29. Casey, didn't we invent that one?

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  30. Yes we did!!! I submitted it along time ago and forgot about it.

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