Thursday, May 7, 2009
One of the best inventions ever is the Urban Dictionary. It's pure genius.
1. Are you shitreous?
A phrase that comes from the mixture of the emphatic expressions "no shit!" and "are you serious?" It is normally used in response to some surprising or shocking news or information. When said fast is indistinguishable from saying "are you serious?"
Aaron: Hey! I just won $1 million in the lottery.
Tom: Wow! Are you shitreous?
2. notice me e-mail
In the age of telecommuting, an e-mail message sent either early in the morning, or late at night, with the subtle intent of revealing the fact that the sender was logged on and working at the time the message was sent, hidden within the context of a more "official" looking message.
(an example "notice me e-mail")
From: Molly Worker
Date: 03/27/05 23:17:04 EST
Subject: Deliverable deadline
Hi all... I just wanted to let you all know that I have received most of your status reports, but that the deliverable deadline is fixed. Therefore, if you will not be able to make the deadline, please adjust your status report schedule to fit the deadline.
3. Passenger Brake
The passenger brake is the nonexistant brake pedal located on the floor of the passenger (shotgun) side of the front seat of your car. It is used instinctively by the passenger when the driver is driving insanely too fast, and the car needs to come quickly to a stop, which may not seem very possible at that particular moment. It is sometimes used in conjunction with the OH SHIT handle by the passenger door.
Doris was using her passenger brake all the freaking way here. She's the one who made us late getting started from home by taking so long to get herself ready! I was just trying to make up some time getting through traffic...
4. tolerance juice
Any concoction of alcohol used to help tolerate a person, a place, or a situation. In theory, the more tolerance juice you consume, the less annoyed you will be. Without tolerance juice the person, place, or situation is quite simply, well, intolerable and you could potentially slip into a rage blackout. Warning: Excessive consumption of tolerance juice may result in memory loss and/or loss of clothing.
BRO1: 'Hey, let's go check out that new bar across the street.' BRO2: 'I hear it's not that great.' BRO1: 'Come on, 5 minutes. Real quick, if it's lame, we'll come back here.' BRO2: 'Okay, let me just finish my tolerance juice first!'
GIRL1: 'Uh, were you just talking to your ex over there?' GIRL2: 'Yeah, he came up and started rambling about how he misses me or whatever.' GIRL1: 'What did you say to him?' GIRL2: 'Nothing, all I could think of was coming back over here and ordering more tolerance juice so I don't have a rage blackout!' GIRL1: 'Let's get some shots!!'