Wednesday, June 24, 2009

And the Survey Says...

Lifts are for ADA Access.

Sarah should make a baby to cure her boredom at work.

Most people do not like Cats in Hats and wish it would stop.

A household needs to make at least $500k to be considered rich.

Chuck Norris is cooler than pirates, ninjas, and Navy Seals.

The best movie ever is The Big Lebowski. The worst movie ever is The Postman.

Most people have some form of debt.

Tyra Banks and Oprah/Dr. Phil are both really annoying celebrities.

As it turns out, time travel is possible.

Who knew? Mustaches are creepy.

Only time and beer will tell whether or not Justin will get beat up on the river again this year.

Only 25% of Americans accept personal responsibility.

Jake is bald?

Whataburger is by far the best fast food chain.

Most people believe in Christianity.The US should be more active in the green movement.

We love women!

Obama gets a B.

Most people claim they are aligned with the Libertarian party, which I find hard to believe.

Good of the Justin is more important than the good of the individual and the whole.

Under the right circumstances, Texas would try to leave the Union.

Marijuana should be decriminalized.

Justin is not going to make money with his pyramid scheme and friendship bracelets are a better product anyway.

Our country should always keep our federal budget balanced.

Chuck Norris would win a New Year’s Eve footrace, but Justin’s downline and Jake in a silver jumpsuit would be close behind. Brett would still be at the starting line smoking a cigarette.

Johnny 5 is the best 1980’s movie robot.

We should not bail out California and let them figure it out on their own.

We should send all of our prisoners to Guantanamo, it’s the new Australia.

Nancy is really rad.Most people want a car that runs on poop.

Most people exhibit OCD symptoms by excessive double-checking of things.

Most people with bad eyesight are considering the Lasik procedure if they can gather the courage.

The pharmacist’s actions in Oklahoma were in self-defense and justified.

Donny and The Dude are both great friends.

It would be better to be in a situation where you have to choose to save the life of your dog or a stranger from a huge rolling boulder rather than watch a full episode of The View.

The View is horrible and makes viewers ill.

Jake is going to be rolling naked in money on the Ivory Coast before we know it.

Bluetooth talkers are annoying, not important.

Most people don’t give money to people on the streets either because it’s not the responsible thing to do or simply because they just don’t care.

Brett should quit his job and become a fortune cookie writer, seriously.


  1. We are changing the world here people!!

    I say we bring back cats in hats though. I thought that was genious.

    I also think in Idiocracy the government should have changed to a blog format, and that is how they made all of their decisions. That would have been a good twist.

  2. Cats in hats was brilliant! Bring it back!

  3. I love polls, and I thought everyone liked Cats in Hats....Jake did you rig that poll. You are just as bad as Iran.

  4. MB3K - Nice current affairs joke. I too love the polls, but more as a friend than like that.

    I don't miss 'Cats in Hats' and correct me if I am wrong, but I seem to remember it being used as a threat against everyone in the blog?

  5. Keith, there is a distinct difference between liking Cats in Hats and wanting Jake to post nothing but Cats in Hats for the rest of time.

  6. MB3K, I too appreciate the topical humor. And for the record, I would be ok if jake posted a cat in hat picture with every blog, assuming it corresponded to the content of the blog. Like if he did a blog about 4th of july, then I would want the cat to wear an uncle sam hat...

  7. MB3K - I'm really happy that your new nickname caught on.

    When I first read your comment I thought it said I was just as "bald as Iran." So my first reaction was to be offended, and then I thought "why am I offended, I am bald" and so then I thought it was funny. And then I thought "why is Iran bald?" and my reaction changed to just being confused. Then I reread your comment and realized that I am an idiot...and bald.

  8. Brett- You must get tired of hearing this, but you're right.

    I did like Cats in Hats and I was at the time a full supporter of this blog transitioning to a Cats in Hats ONLY format. I am relieved that it did not, because we would have missed out on Chuck Norris Day and yesterday's Fortune Cookie discussion. Awesome.

  9. Keith, where were you yesterday? The discussion was entirely too Casey, Brett and Jake heavy (insert casey fat/being heavy joke here). I have no doubt you could have contributed.

    MB3K, I assume your fortune cookies would have read like they were actually in chinese, so that would have been a great addition too! Where were you MF'ers?

  10. Sorry Casey, 2 meetings and a deadline. I won't let work get in the way ever again.

  11. Thank you! We should print this entire blog and make it a coffee table book.

  12. we would have to find new pictures, I've opened us up to be sued by at least 250 different parties

  13. Yes, I sorry I missed the Cookie day, I have been to busy at work...I guess I should just quite my job like Brett wants to and all would be good.

  14. After reading your last comment, it's official! You writing our fortune cookies would give off the impression of authenticity. People might actually think the author is Chinese! You're in!

  15. Particularly, "I sorry I missed the Cookie day..."