Monday, June 22, 2009

Brett - Problem Solved

I've been thinking about alternative careers for Brett ever since he and Sarah had that interchange about not being sure what job is the perfect fit for them. I've come up with some ideas, in no particular order...

1. Professional blog commentator

2. Bee Keeper

3. Indiana Jones apprentice

4. Casey's live-in personal assistant

5. Odor Tester

6. Fortune Cookie Writer

7. Chimney Sweeper

8. Professional Whistler

9. Furniture Tester

10. Roller coaster Tester

Obviously these all have varying levels of compensation, but I think all are worthy options for Brett to at least try. In fact, I would go as far to say that we should make a comprehensive list of weird and interesting jobs that would fit Brett's personality and then he should quit his job and just start working down the list. If he takes one of the jobs and he doesn't like it then he can just move on to the next. I think it would be awesome.


  1. My fist vote is for number 4! And one day, that's going to happen. I was eveing thinking about that on my way to work this morning. I can't wait! But until then, here are a few ideas I have:

    1. Working at a troubled teen boot camp, where Brett's sole job is to berate smart mouthed teens after they say anything and let them feel just as stupid as they are.

    2. "Lab Rat" for Phillip Morris.

    3. Cheesecake, Movie, Vampire TV show, internet porn, or video game critic/tester.

    4. Without joking, I think Brett would make an excellent game theorist. It's a real thing. Look it up, and if you know Brett, you'd know he would be really good at it.

    5. Casey's best friend and sould mate.

    That's all, I think he'd be good at all of those!

  2. Thank you for your kind words (i think).

    Jake, I like your list and those are all possibilities, accept for odor tester. Being a fan of the cigarette had dulled my sense of smell and I don't think I could cut it.

    Casey, your list is great. I would vote for number three, but I don't think I could do all of them as well as all movies. Can we limit it to movies with dragons and/or robots?

    As far as being a game theorist, I agree that it is right down my alley. If you remember I tried to get an actuarial math degree when we first went to school, which sounds very similiar. The problem is it's hard to be a mathematical genius and a slacker at the same time, and I think we all know where my priorities lie.

    I would also like to add onling poker player as a legitimate option. I have been honing my skills with Mickey C and I may just be starting to figure it out (that's why I haven't been at the house all week boys)!

  3. I vote #6. The guy in the bed looks mighty comfy brett. haha, that could be you! :P

  4. Jake, your Mary Poppins obsession has really got to end. London circa 1964 called and wants it's profession back.

  5. You sir, need to trust my instinct for these types of things. Look at the video bar and watch the scene where all those chimney sweeps are dancing on the roof tops, cleaning chimneys and what not, and just freakin enjoying life. That would be a great job for you. I'm looking out for you.

  6. Everyone needs to watch the first video bar link and imagine Brett as Dick Van Dyke. Tell me you can't picture him in that job having the time of his life. I think I found a winner!

  7. Brett, the good thing about being a game theorist is that you don't have to constantly have boring topics like figuring out when people are going to die. You can do anything! I read an article about a guy who used string and game theory to predict actions by Iran and North Korea, who would win the super bowl 5 years into the future and who will be the next president of Russia. It was awesome. But if you don't do that, I still vote for being my personal assistant/best friend/ soul mate!

  8. and brett, I'll do you one better. We'll limit your movie criticing to movies with robot dragons or robot vampires...See you in the theater

  9. obviously i meant critiquing not criticing

  10. We can keep it at dragons, robots, and/or vampires. That will give me a good excuse to go see any movie with dragons, robots, and/or vampires.

  11. You've got yourself a deal! Today's blog is a stark contrast from Friday's blog. Where the hell is everyone?

  12. Speaking of robots, has anyone seen a preview for that new movie Moon? It looks awesome. And if you go to the link below don't scroll down to the remarks as the ending of this movie may have just been ruined for me.

  13. Brett, I think one of your coworkers (if you worked at Caldwell Bankers) found your secret screenplay

  14. Casey,
    I can neither confirm nor deny I was involved in the writing of that script, however I will say that they are not appreciating the underlying theme of vampires and eternal love, which really go hand in hand.

  15. It's getting kind of hard to believe
    things are going to get better
    I've been drowning too long to believe
    that the tide's going to turn

    And I've been living too hard to believe
    that things are going to get easier now
    I'm still trying to shake off the pain
    from the lessons I've learned

    And if I see Van Helsing, I swear
    to the Lord I will slay him!
    A-ha-ha-haa! Take it from me
    I swear I will let it be so! A-ha-ha-haa!!

    Blood will run down his face
    when he is decapitated...aah!
    his head on my mantle is how
    I will let this world know:

    How much I love you--
    I can't.

  16. Sorry Brett, I guess no one cares about you finding your dream job except for Casey who seems to have some kind of kinky weird obession with you. Well and of course, RandiB.

  17. You could always mow my lawn for a living.


  18. I am SHOCKED that justin didn't chime in. Maybe he doesn't have a free hand between doing P90X with one hand and giving Brett a Western Style HJ (thank you Keith) with the other. Either way, this was a pisspoor day for the blog!

  19. I DO care about helping Brett find his dream job and I think I found it!

    30. Fantasy Broker
    If you want your dreams to come true then talk to these folks. Their job is to make sure that if you want something, you get it. Kind of like a concierge of life.

    I think #20 (ostrich babysitter) could work too.