You are walking along a beach in the Bahamas (no not the same beach I'm on - Keith and Lindsay, stop following us dammit!) and you stub the crap out of your toe. You look down and there is an old, dirty, green bottle with a cork in it stuck in the sand. All of sudden you are overtaken by the urge to uncork the bottle and drink whatever is in the bottle. Giving in to this ridiculous and disgusting urge, you do it. You instantly begin to choke on a mixture of seaweed, sea water, sand, and shells. As you continue to gag and choke a genie comes out of the bottle and says "dude, that was disgusting, what were you thinking?" Flabbergasted, you stand there with your mouth open in amazement because there is a freaking genie in front of you. He then tells you that you get 3 wishes, anything you want, but the only catch is that you have to wear a 3' tall newspaper dunce hat for the rest of your life (and no, none of the wishes can be not to wear it). So do you take the 3 wishes? If so, what do you wish for?